Dinners, Gifts and WeChat Etiquette: What Has Actually Changed
China Field Notes · by Daona · 9 min read
Most of what you have read about Chinese business etiquette is still roughly right: be punctual, use titles, let the host seat you. What has changed is the line between hospitality and bribery — it is now drawn more sharply, by more laws, on both sides of the table.
Business etiquette in China is less mysterious than older guidebooks suggest. Your counterparts meet foreign visitors regularly, and most will forgive a misplaced chopstick far more easily than a late arrival or an unanswered message. People differ by region, generation, industry and company; treat what follows as a starting point, not a script.
Two things really have changed. The rules on banquets and gifts — especially with officials and state-owned enterprises — are much stricter, and enforced. And much relationship-building now happens on WeChat rather than at the dinner table.
Names are written surname first: in 王建国, Wang is the surname. Use surname plus title — Wang Zong (王总) for a general manager or company head, Li Jingli (李经理) for a manager, Zhang Laoshi (张老师) for a teacher or respected expert — or "Mr / Ms Wang". Given names only when invited; use any English name they give you.
Business cards (名片) are still exchanged, though many skip straight to WeChat. Offer and receive with both hands, read the card, keep it on the table during the meeting. Chinese on one side is appreciated.
Punctuality. Arrive on time or a few minutes early. If you will be late, message before the meeting starts.
Seating. At a formal dinner the host usually faces the door, with the most senior guest on the host's right. Wait to be seated; if hosting, ask your team or the restaurant about local convention.
Paying. The host orders and pays. A foreign card cannot transfer your share afterwards (Issue 04) — offer to host next time.
Toasts. The host usually toasts first. Clinking slightly lower than a senior person's glass is a common gesture of respect. 干杯 (gānbēi) means "dry the glass", but a sip is usually fine.
Declining alcohol
Entirely acceptable. Say so early with a simple reason — health, driving, medication — and toast with tea, juice or water. Alcohol is far less central than it was, and is now banned at official receptions (section 4).
Gifts are a normal courtesy, but should be modest: a book about your city, a local food specialty, a small branded item, something well made from home.
| Avoid | Why |
|---|---|
| Clocks 钟 | 送钟 sounds like 送终, attending a deathbed |
| Umbrellas 伞 | Sounds like 散, "to break up" |
| Shared pears 分梨 | Sounds like 分离, "separation" |
| Knives, scissors | Suggest cutting ties |
| Sets of four | 四 sounds like 死, "death" |
| Cash, gift cards | Bribery risk (section 4) |
Give with both hands. The recipient may decline once before accepting, and often won't open it in front of you.
Festivals. At Mid-Autumn (中秋节), companies exchange mooncakes (月饼). At Spring Festival (春节), red envelopes (红包) go mainly from bosses to staff and within families. Between business partners, cash is a bribery risk. Small digital red packets in WeChat groups are a festive game — but can't be sent with a foreign card (Issue 04).
Criminal Law (刑法). Offering bribes to state functionaries, company staff and foreign officials are crimes, as is accepting them. Amendment XII (in force 1 March 2024) toughened penalties for offering bribes.
Anti-Unfair Competition Law (反不正当竞争法), revised 27 June 2025, in force 15 October 2025: prohibits giving money or property to a counterparty's employee, its agent, or anyone using their position to influence a deal. It now expressly covers accepting bribes and adds individual liability.
Officials and SOEs
The Eight-point Regulation (中央八项规定) has restricted officials' banquets, gifts, travel and entertainment since 2012. Revised frugality rules for Party and government organs (May 2025) bar alcohol, luxury dishes and cigarettes from official meals, and bar officials on domestic trips from accepting cash, souvenirs or local specialties. SOE (国有企业) managers face similar discipline, and SOE staff performing public duties can be state functionaries under the Criminal Law.
Rule: no lavish hospitality or gifts for officials or SOE managers. A normal working meal is fine; expensive liquor, valuable gifts or paid travel are not.
Home-country law. The US FCPA and UK Bribery Act 2010 reach many foreign companies in China, including via subsidiaries and agents. US enforcement priorities shifted in 2025, but the law remains in force. Both allow reasonable, proportionate hospitality; neither allows hospitality meant to influence a decision.
Company policy. Set a value limit, a register, and pre-approval for anything involving officials or SOEs. If you have none, write one before Mid-Autumn.
Adding contacts. "Add WeChat" (加微信): one shows a QR code, the other scans. Put your name and company in the request, and set a remark (备注) with their full name and company.
· Voice messages are common; you may ask for text, or convert voice to text
· Reply the same day, even just to say you'll answer later
· Evening and weekend messages are common — acknowledge, no need to answer instantly
· Confirm key terms in email or the contract; WeChat is a poor record (Issue 11)
Group chats (群). Use @mentions, stay on topic, ask before adding outsiders.
Moments (朋友圈). Business contacts see your posts unless you change visibility; many professionals restrict it. A like is a light, friendly touch.
Policy: gifts capped at ¥300 per recipient, pre-approval for officials and SOE staff, all gifts registered.
| Recipient | Gift | ¥ each | No. | ¥ total |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Private-sector customers | Mooncake box | 200 | 8 | 1,600 |
| Suppliers' account managers | Mooncake box | 200 | 5 | 1,000 |
| SOE purchasing manager | Greeting only | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Local official | Greeting only | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Total | 15 | 2,600 |
Illustrative policy and log. 8 × 200 = 1,600; 5 × 200 = 1,000; total 2,600.
The point is not the numbers: every gift is recorded, and the official and SOE contacts receive a greeting, not a box.
"You have to drink to do business in China." You don't. Say no early; toast with tea.
"Expensive gifts show respect." Modest ones do. Expensive ones create risk for both sides.
"Red packets are just a custom." Among family, yes. To a business counterpart, cash is cash.
"Rules on officials don't apply to SOEs." SOE managers face similar discipline and may be state functionaries.
"WeChat is informal, so it doesn't count." Messages can be evidence. Confirm key terms in writing.
Your etiquette checklist
☐ Names surname first; titles used
☐ Cards with both hands; Chinese on one side
☐ On time; message ahead if late
☐ Polite reason ready if you don't drink
☐ Modest gifts; no clocks, umbrellas, knives, fours or cash
☐ No lavish hospitality for officials or SOE managers
☐ Gift and hospitality policy with a register
☐ WeChat contacts labelled with name and company
☐ Same-day replies; key terms confirmed in writing
☐ Moments visibility set for work contacts
☐ Reply START for the First Week in China Checklist
Rules as of October 2026. This column provides general information, not legal advice. For anti-bribery compliance questions, consult your company's compliance team or a licensed lawyer.
China Field Notes · by Daona